My latest Eyeore…
My grandmother gave me my first Eyeore. I was four. Mabel was a farm wife, hard worker; and, when necessary, a seamstress of stuffed animals. That year for Christmas, my older brother also got a stuffed animal, a seemingly perfect Winnie-the-Pooh. I was so jealous. My Eyeore was fine, but he didn’t have the same star power, let alone a soft belly that could be used as a pillow. The upshot is that I never fully bonded with my Eyeore.
Recently, at our annual Holiday staff party and amidst plenty of laughter, I was given another Eyeore. This time by my staff at Mind Body Solutions. Apparently, as the longstanding, wily veteran of our work, I have become known as a bit of a downer. The 11-plus years have taught me not to get too excited about our successes and to always be planning for things to be hard. This is not really a surprise given the challenge of running a small non-profit during these uncertain economic times. The good news is that my staff is strong enough to tease me about my heaviness and still like me anyway.
If I am honest, however, the Eyeore in me has a long history. My life has taken quite a toll. Perhaps the greatest injury of absorbing so much trauma is a loss of trust. I am ready for things to be difficult at all times. I have learned, however, to transform this into heartfelt strength. I have realized the difficulties of my life as a teacher, not as an obstacle to overcome. Unfortunately, I sometimes lose something in the process. I lose easy access to the simple joy of things. I become Eyeore.
This injury is not just mine. Doesn’t aging do this to some degree? On the whole, life experience brings out the Eyeore in all of us. This is for good reason. Life is hard. And yet, I would not trade the Eyeore I have earned. He is essential to my journey, to my success. On the inside, I do not feel like Eyeore. I feel determined and youthful but also savvy and wise.
My goal in 2014 is not to overcome my Eyeore nor trade him in for a flashier Winnie-the-Pooh. But I need him to stay in proportion within the rest of my life…about the size of a stuffed animal I would say. That is why I love this gift from my staff. Look at him….he’s really cute. Look at that dopey look and floppy pink ears…he’s adorable. At night, in the dark when thoughts can so easily turn negative, I set him across from me in my king-sized bed. I let him watch over me while I sleep and I remember that he is smiling.
I wish for you a happy, youthful, and wise New Year.