I am pretty sure this frog is sleeping. He is not magically floating in the air, but suctioned against my bedroom window, about a foot above the floor. He is no bigger than the top knuckle of my thumb. It’s the middle of day and he hasn’t moved since sunrise. This is not a typical place for a frog to hold up during daylight hours. Where the hell are his arms anyway? I am awed by his delicate grace, but also his steadfast sternness. He hasn’t blinked or moved all day.
I hear his sturdy sweet presence smiling at me. It makes me feel that things are going right.
This frog story has been developing for weeks, even years. Did you know that frogs breathe through their skin? Their wet skin takes air in, lets air out, takes in, lets out. I love the thought that everything about a frog is breathing, that literally every place where it touch the world is involved in a mystical, life-sustaining practice.
Did you know that frogs are the equivalent to a canary in a coalmine, but for the natural environment? Because their breathing is so exposed, they are usually the first to disappear when the environment is compromised. When toxins enter their eco-system, it quickly destroys their respiration.
For the last couple years, I have seen far fewer tree frogs plastered against my house. This summer had been particularly stark. I began to worry. Not just about the eco-system around my lot, but secretly about energy emanating from my house. For last three years, I have been living separately from my wife. We are nearing the end of a very amicable divorcing process. During that time, I have been a guy in a wheelchair, a half-time dad, the driving force behind a struggling non-profit, a traveling yoga teacher and public speaker, and a man trying to run a household. The life inside my home has fallen toward the man-side of organized. Let’s just say, my son definitely eats enough fruits and vegetables but very rarely over a nicely set table.
Maybe the home I create isn’t good enough. Maybe I won’t be able to raise enough money for my non-profit. Maybe I won’t be able to travel and carry the mission of Mind Body Solutions nationally to drive people to study with us locally in Minneapolis.
And the frogs have been disappearing…
Until lately!
Suddenly, they are back in relative droves. These last few weeks have been awesome. Each night I watch multiple frogs hunt along my windows. I am feeling better. I enter this year’s fundraising push with the best team I have ever had at Mind Body Solutions. Our work is thriving and evolving. I leave on Monday for London to teach yoga teachers from across Europe how to teach people living with trauma, loss, and disability. Most importantly, my son rocks and I really like him and, for the most part, he likes me too.
And the frogs are returning….
Then there is my daylight visitor. He has hung out all day twice this week. I chose to believe it is the same frog. I chose a story where things are coming together. Did you know that tree frogs live for 2-5 years? Yes, it is the same frog. It must be. What normal frog sleeps all day long on a window in the wide open? He must be an outlier like me. His presence whispers: All is well and suitable for breathing.